Self Reliance

“No one can save us. No one may. We ourselves must walk the path.”

The Buddha’s words ring true as I read one of his many nuggets of wisdom. Every being here, has a path cut out for her. She has to walk that path, whether or not she likes it, whether she is attached to the destination or detached from the outcome. She has to face the changing cycles of seasons, brave the storm, clothe herself in layers during the cold and enjoy the sun on her skin during spring. Her sufferings are her own. As are her learnings that are born out of the sufferings.

No individual can share the pain of another. Parents may struggle and bring heaven to earth in their effort to mitigate children’s sufferings. The pain of a surgery, the pain of a heartbreak, the pain of an addiction and so on has to be borne by the child herself. Parents may try to soften the blow, provide a comfortable cushion to rest her tired head on, offer warm words of comfort, but the pain of the action/reaction/event has to be tolerated by the offspring. This is true of every other relationship – romantic, platonic, filial and so on.

In that act of suffering is hidden the fact of transformation, the possibility of metamorphosis. So let us not be afraid or shun the difficult times in life.

Let us not wait for sympathy/empathy/words of kindness from others who we think are our well-wishers. If the ray of hope shines through in their kind, comforting actions, let us be grateful. If not, let us not wait for it. Waiting and not receiving the kindness weakens our emotional fiber and slackens our resolve. Instead, let us be self-reliant and forge ahead with doing what according to us is the right path to emerge strong because of a particular event. Let us build good routines like meditation and yoga and incorporate them into our daily lives so we have some sort of ‘insurance’ cover to fall back on during the not so sunny days.